cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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