you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i now understand why vodka
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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