Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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