Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize