the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
