i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
