Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize