Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
