She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
