yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
