Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
