She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
