from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
