shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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