I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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