Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
