Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
