I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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