Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
