Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
