but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
