I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need Xanax blowdarts
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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