I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
