thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
