O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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