omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We are two peas in an std pod
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am mentally ready for anal.
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