Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
