We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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