No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
