wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
