i'm signing you up for texting rehab
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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