Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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