At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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