margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
