There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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