yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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