It's Friday. Sex?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
