We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
