Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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