I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
