the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
