white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
