I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
