She said her name was "party"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
