Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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