do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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