But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
