it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
