Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
