Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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