he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
