i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dear god my vagina.
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