she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
