Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize