Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize