where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
